When it comes to having a goal or making a decision, choose making a decision. When you decide in your mind to make a decision you have taken the step to eliminate all other distractions. Making decisions takes courage.

Having a goal is more passive. You likely haven't even made a decision, it's still only a thought. Goals leave the door open for the possibility of doing absolutely NOTHING.

Condition yourself to think more to make decisions; they will lead to action. Goals are nice but are for people who haven't taken the first step to really making something happen.

rb

I really like this 3 minute video sent to me from a colleague and good friend Dr. Cappy Leland (www.cleland@performancedashboard.com) . It speaks of leadership in so many different ways. Most of all it reminds me of what is really important in life. Enjoy (hint: get a Kleenex).

There have been plenty of football games to watch (did I mention the AGGIES won?) over the last several months, with a few more weeks to go. There were many exciting games played in some unbelievable stadiums!

It is amazing how far we have come with technology. Why, even Jerry Jones has a 60 yard long big screen TV in his stadium. QB's have a microphone in their helmets, and several coaches can talk back and forth to each other via headsets. Pictures are generated of plays and produced instantaneously so players can see them on the sideline. All of this technology and these innovative concepts hardly touch what we can see on TV!

But with all of the technology why do they still use a chain to measure first downs? Talk about archaic! There have been many first downs and touchdowns determined not by some specific technological super machine, but by an actual chain! The chain is placed after a referee on the field puts his foot down marking a spot. Another line judge 25 yards away estimates where he thinks his foot lines up with the referee's foot on the field and places the first down marker. Finally, a metal chain is stretched to mark 10 yards for a first down. REALLY?

Outdated and archaic happens in businesses and leadership. For example, thinking money is the primary motivation for someone to work. We think if we just pay our employees a little more we can push them and squeeze the life out of them, after all they are getting paid!

Want to look at a company that has moved to the 21st century?  Check out Apple. TD industries in Ft. Worth rewards their employees if they stay "healthy" (pay for a membership to a gym). Some companies don't have "hours" but leave it to the employees to be responsible for their work. Instead of thinking you make money from selling, understand you make money when you help satisfied employees satisfy customers.

I know you can think of others. How about us getting rid of the "chains" and find a new first down marker?

rb

This was sent by a friend (Ken Young). Leadership is being grateful. Take 6 minutes and digest the truth of this video. It will remind you of what we forget to do everyday.

Thanks for the opportunity to work with so many wonderful people within a variety of different companies like;

BRE in San Francisco and Orange County; Invesco Real Estate in Dallas; Jefferson Apartment Group in DC; Gables in Houston and Dallas; Post Properties in Dallas; Traci Bernard with Methodist Southlake Hospital in Southlake; all the Promethians with Prometheus in San Francisco; Kansas Sampler in Kansas City; Wood Partners in Denver; Scott Remphrey with Brytar Companies; Mike Reinsel formerly with Apartment Life.

Each company is special only because of the people I work with!

I am a voracious reader, and here are my top books for the past year in no particular order other than the first one.

1.  Primal Leadership by Goleman (have read it once each year since it was published).
2. Jesus: A Theography by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola
3. Start with Why by Simon Sinek
4. Firms of Endearment by Raj Sisodia, Jag Sheth, David Wolfe
5. Who Is This Man? by John Ortberg
6. Great by Choice by Jim Collins
7. No Easy Day: The Firsthand Account of the Mission That Killed Osama Bin Laden by Mark Owen
8. The Power of Habit by Charles DuHigg
9. The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business by Frank Lencioni
10. Awesomely Simple by John Spence

So here's to an even better year in 2013, and in hopes I will get the honor of meeting more wonderful people and new opportunities I could only dream of! May we all be as thankful for the smallest of gifts given this year just like this dad was at Christmas!

rb

"A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning,

Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted,

because they are no more."

Much like last Friday, on this particular occasion another evil man decided to kill all the boys in the small suburb town of Bethlehem outside the metropolis of Jerusalem. Because of the smaller population in this town, it's likely there were about 20-25 boys killed in very short period of time (sound familiar?).

Just as there was no way to explain to those mommies and daddies then "why" God would allow something like this to happen, the same is true today. There has never been, nor will there ever be, an explanation for "why" this side of heaven.

Even if there were an explanation given, there would still be "weeping...and refusing to be comforted" for all those personally touched by this baleful massacre.

As a wise man once concluded, life under the sun does not make sense, it's depressing, random and unpredictable. Life really doesn't make sense outside a relationship with God; and it never fully makes sense even if we have a relationship with God, because we are not God.

Like so many I will weep with those who weep. But I also resolve to not allow evil and darkness diminish what I believe the true meaning of this time of year is all about. Let us not let the depth of human depravity keep us from remembering the height of God's spirit that works through us. For we resolve to believe, "a "light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it!"

Merry Christmas,

rb

Enjoy the video and may it make you smile.

Choir of Silent Monks

• No matter how much you win or have you always will want more.
• If you're discontent now with what you have, your discontent will only grow.
• If you make $75 thousand, $750 thousand would be enough. If you have $750 thousand, $750 million would be enough.  I wonder where satisfaction and contentment kick in? It doesn't start or end with money or more.
• If you make $48 thousand a year, you are in the top 1% of the richest people in the world.
• Where your heart is, your treasure will be. Make sure of what you really treasure.
• How much will you leave when you die? All of it.

I like what I heard Andy Stanley ask (North Point Community Church in Georgia). "How much would you need to secure your future against all imaginable eventualities? Answer: More than you currently have.

This brings me to Christmas. There is a real joy at Christmas and in life, it's when you give. If you have ever experienced true giving, it brings the greatest joy in the world. It is contagious and will grow. Joy to the World is not just about the coming of God, but about the joy brought into the world with giving.

Make it a goal this year to be rich toward others and give. I promise you'll be far richer next year at this time.

rb

Want to be inspired? Want to know "how rich you really are?" Watch this 4 minute video of Cody.

Cody's Story

1.  Take the day off? Go hunting?
2. Call your team and thank each one for their work?
3. Let people know just how dire our federal debt is (Federal debt as a percentage of GDP is worse than any country in Europe other than Greece).
4. Make members of Congress work 5 days a week while in session and if they pass something for all Americans they have to abide by the same (insurance, retirement, Obamacare, etc)?
5. Find out why they call your office "the Oval office"?
6. Pass "no budget, no pay" legislation that would dock legislators every day they fail to pass a budget on time?
7. Give all teachers a raise that will honestly make a difference in their income levels?

What would you suggest?

I know what I would do on my first day and every day I am President. I would read from Daniel 4 & 5. I would read about 2 Babylonian kings, Nebuchadnezzar and then Belshazzar (who would name their sons these names?). I would specifically read the verses that are repeated several times to both "former" kings who thought they ruled the most powerful nation on earth. They both forgot a very important principle and paid the price. Here it is:

"Remember to acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives to anyone he wishes."

In fact, whether I'm President or not, I need to read those verses every day and remind myself of this truth. I am, and you are too, where we are not necessarily because we were elected, selected, hired, or born into but because God does as He pleases for His purposes.

So what would be your first priority your first year in office?

rb

My nephew (Charles Jones of Briggs Equipment; www.charles.jones@briggsequipment.com) sent me this 5 minute video. Meet Danny Webber.

Okay, let's not get carried away. The truth is I wish I had a full head of hair but I don't think having a cue ball or a full head of hair makes one a leader any more than driving your car into the garage makes your car a garage.

Speaking from experience, I believe a man who is bald or shaves his head knows he has to own what he "doesn't have". Like leaders, good ones know they need to own up to their short comings as a leader.

Mirrors are everywhere. So as one who leads (male or female) look in the mirror of self reflection and see if you honestly see and understand yourself the way others do? Or do you cover up your weaknesses like some men do with a "rug" on top or a "comb over" with the little hair they have left?  A cover up of any kind is fake.

I think the correct term for what I'm describing is character. It describes leaders who don't fear being "found out". It belongs on the list when hiring for employees and is nonnegotiable when it comes to leading. It is a foundational quality we should all expect from those who lead whether it be in business, politics, schools, churches or government.

People are discerning. They will see through you. Leading with character is a lifetime responsibility. So be a person who lives with high moral character....with or without a full head of hair. 

rb

 Never Ever Give Up. Enjoy this 4 minute clip.

Milton F. Johnson was my postman when I was a kid. I didn't know he had a last name, I just knew him as Milton the Postman. I remember many, many times he would set his mailbag down, grin from ear to ear and ask if he could play. I remember he was a giant black man, who carried a big leather mail bag and walked up and down our unpaved street on Bonnie Drive in Ft. Worth, TX. Milton would play with me and he would always justify my dreams by telling me I was going to be an All-American. When it was "Texas" hot in the summer, he would rest on our front porch, sweat dripping off the end of his nose and we'd share a nice cold glass of ice water.

For those of who grew up with the racial tensions of the 50's, 60's and 70's it was not acceptable for people with black skin to associate with people who had white skin. But it didn't matter to me a young white kid growing up. Milton was one of the nicest men I knew and I didn't care if his skin was black or white.  All I knew was that he took the time to be with me. 

Milton was my friend, my postman.

Milton F. Johnson died last Sunday at the young age of 92. You can read more about him in this article (Fort Worth's First Black Postman).

I need to be more like Milton. 

Life is about taking the time to touch lives. It's about realizing we are all wobbly, weak kneed individuals who don't have it altogether and often are too proud to accept the grace extended by someone else. We all have our faults no matter what our heritage or background is. No matter the title we carry, the money we make, the organization we work for, the color of our skin, male or female, we are all earthen vessels who shuffle around with feet of clay. It seems Milton, my postman understood that.

"Suppose we hear an unknown man spoken of by many men.

Suppose we were puzzled to hear that some men said he was too tall and some too short; some objected to his fatness, some lamented his leanness; some thought him too dark, and some to fair. One explanation....would be he might be an odd shape...Perhaps (in short) this extraordinary thing is really the ordinary thing; as least the normal thing, the centre." G. K. Chesterton

rb

The picture above is of my dad's hat he wore in the service and the flag that draped his coffin. I admired my dad. He was a "man's man". He was polite, loved my mom, his family and he stood for decency. He taught me about patriotism, the pledge of allegiance, loving your country, taking your hat off at the raising of the flag, and respecting people. It's because of him and his service to this country that I get tears in my eyes when I see stories of men and women who have given their lives for this great land or come home to the loving embrace of other family members. It's what he stood for, who he was. I admired him.

It's time to restore an invaluable, cast aside, forgotten treasure: admiration. Our country needs it! We need individuals who mirror the bedrock principles that this country stands for! And as this restoration begins to occur, the principle of character will once again resound in the lives of the men and women in this country. Once again, individuals will be held in high esteem and for the qualities of greatness that are truly to be admired.

Happy 4th!

rb

Enjoy this 2 minute clip from a few years ago on the CBS evening news. It will make you swell with admiration for a man and our country.

Daily Retreat

So for all those who serve, THANK YOU!

rb

Here is a 3 minute video of a "Soldier's Deck of Cards". The story is a couple of centuries old but the thought is still timely. Enjoy.

As big a pain as Arthur is, he reminds me daily of other painful lessons I am continually learning about leadership in the afternoon journey of my life. Here are a few:

1. I can no longer live the afternoon of my life with the same strategy as the morning program. What worked and made sense yesterday, won't cut it today. 
2. Specific tasks come with physical pain and I pay the price. No matter the pain or the price, it has always been worth it when it comes to doing "right" to others. Paradoxically, the pain and price have never been greater when I don't.
3. I am often awakened to the fact I have insulated myself with rationalizations about my abilities and strengths and haven't seen myself as clearly as I need to. Accordingly, I often have a flawed understanding of what it's like to live and work with me.
4. Uunderstanding my limitations mixed with grace helps me to grow. These two gifts grow in me exponentially as I extend those same gifts to others. I need to give more!

rb

Here is a two minute clip of me and my brother several years ago when we tried to send my mom a Mother's day picture (not). Enjoy.   

Mother's Day

It doesn't take long in the world of adults for many to act as if they are three years old. We all think we "deserve". Maybe we "deserve" because we've been with the company for years, or because we have more experience, have been more productive or "just because" (I love that one!). And then if we don't get what we 'deserve' we threaten to "take our ball and go home".

This 'deserve' infects teachers, firemen, managers, executives, and the teenager behind the counter at Taco Bell. But honestly, who hasn't thought they didn't 'deserve' more money, more respect, more time off, a bigger piece of the pie, more power, etc?

As leaders, "I deserve" is a dangerous place to be. Like a disease, it's ravenous, hungry and will eventually destroy our attitude and fill us with bitterness and resentment. Worse still, it doesn't just stay with us, it spreads throughout the people we lead and within an entire culture to destroy teams, businesses, and even an entire nation!

The most satisfied and best leaders I have ever worked with are not those who make leading about what they deserve but what they give. They remember leadership is a gift given to them by others; it is permission granted, not one demanded or 'deserved'.   

rb

Want a little drama in your life? Check out this 3 minute video. 

Either way a business decision is ultimately tied to making the smart people decisions.

When it comes to making a "business decision" or a "people decision" may I suggest doing a "risk" analysis. In both cases an important risk is one that involves timeliness. For example, in Texas during the spring we are always looking at weather radar to check out how long we have before a storm or a tornado might be coming in our direction. If we react too slowly, woe is me! However if we react with speed of recognition and determine possible outcomes from our decision, we are likely to make a more accurate one.

Why not do the same when making a "business" or "people" decision? I would venture to guess that one's failure to make a deliberate decision (whether business or people) in a timely manner, is directly correlated to the amount of turbulence and consequences caused. As the great basketball coach John Wooden stated,

"Be quick, but don't hurry." 

rb

For those who know me, know I enjoy doing Triathlons. This is a 10 minute video (worth the watch) of two young brothers, Conner and Cayden Long who participate in Triathlons in spite of Cayden having cerebral palsy. It will make your day.

I saw this from Bill O'Hanlon's email (www.possibil@aol.com) and several thoughts came to mind about staying comfortable:

1. Would America have ever been discovered?
2. Who would have signed the Declaration of Independence?
3. No one would have ever stood on the moon's surface.
4. I wonder if we would have ever eaten eggs?
5. There would not have been a sub-4 minute mile, someone standing on top of the world, electricity, Iwo Jima, Wittenberg Door, or Democracy.

I know there are more you can think of.

But maybe one of the greatest tragedies in life for being too comfortable is we never really live the life we were meant to live. That comfort to me has a name...regret.

Don't put off today what you think you will do tomorrow. Step out of the comfort zone and take a risk.

rb

 This video opens with a short introduction but it's worth the introduction and wait! You don't have to watch the full 7 minutes to get the idea of what breaking out of your comfort zone might look and feel like.

Stairway to Heaven (Tower Video)

Each day we make choices because we are not programmed robots. Here a couple I thought of:

1. Choose to open doors, not close them; build bridges, not burn them.
2. Choose conflict, not combat
3. Choose to forgive, not to hold grudges, especially when it comes to yourself.
4. Choose to manage your day, and not vice versa
5. Choose not to please "everyone", instead please the most important "ones".
6. Choose to give the benefit of the doubt.
7. Choose joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. They're called "fruits" for a reason.
8. Choose when it's all "said and done" there was more "done than said".
9. If asked to wait, Choose to wait patiently.

Enough for now. Share one of yours if you like.

rb

In our times when it's easy to get caught up in what's not happening in our schools with our students, check out this school in NYC.

Her most common five:

1. "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." This was the most common regret of all. Most individuals apparently had not honored even half of their dreams due to the choices they "didn't make".
2. "I wish I didn't work so hard." Guess which gender made this the most often? Every male patient she nursed made this statement. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship.
3. "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings." While we can't control the actions of others, we  can control how we react to them.
4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends." Often individuals would not realize the full benefits of old friends until their last dying weeks. Many had become so caught up in their own lives they were regretful about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.
5. "I wish that I had let myself be happier." Happiness is a choice, just like one's attitude. Let us never forget some of the simple rules we learned in kindergarten to let go, have fun, and smile more often goes a long way.

So choose wisely my friend. Take the time each day to stop and ponder what the priorities are in your life and not let the good push out the most important. One of the wisest men who ever lived summed it up this way, "A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he." Solomon

rb

Finally, check out this 3 minute video from last week's CBS Evening News of a man who truly learned how to live and is leaving a legacy with an entire town. Want to talk about Level 5 Leadership and a legacy! Make me more like this man!

He points out these pitfalls to avoid in leading characterized by most in congress. I have taken liberty with his ideas and added some of my own.

1. In all things, look for money first. Listen to the people with the most money, justify your actions around money. (Know of any middle class congressman?)
2. Be sure to embrace the fact you understand and are knowledgeable about everything.
3. Comprise over the most important issues and fight for the trivial. Whatever happens don't dare have a backbone!
4. By all means focus on the short run! Don't even consider leaving a legacy for others to follow because your "long term" is defined by "before the next election".
5. Blame somebody or something and don't dare take personal responsibility. You have got to learn to blame your predecessors. Follow the example of the leader of this country and leaders in congress.
6. When a difficult problem arises, duck, get out town, be on vacation, do anything but deal with it.
7. Ignore and grow deaf to passionate resistance. Don't even think of listening and considering what other alternatives there might be. (sbesides ee # 2 above)
8. Do business as usual. Ignore the examples of previous individuals who influenced and had a greater impact because they were not afraid to walk a hard path. For our nation I think they are referred to as our FOUNDING FATHERS!

Whew. Enough.

If you lead with these principles in mind don't ask for my assistance. I know you're not up to the challenge of making a difference. I'm only interested in individuals who desire to make an impact that leaves a path for others to follow outlined by character, integrity and a backbone.

rb

A sad day in the lives of millions of America today.

A quick thought on mistakes:

• Admit the mistake, apologize, make no excuses, learn from it, and don't become bitter or discouraged at your imperfections. Only one person has been perfect and that ain't you.

Of the things I think God didn't create, experiences and mistakes have to be two of them. Since He didn't make robots, it's up to us to learn from both. That will make a difference in our lives and the lives of others.

rb 

If you're not a parent or grandparent of a small child you can still appreciate the joy of being around their world of uncontaminated wonder. My grandson, while only 19 months old, is a "keeper". My wife and I had the joy of keeping him for an extended period of time this past week and to say that he is full of vim, vigor and vitality is an understatement! That boy runs on full throttle from the time he wakes up (except for his afternoon nap) and when he collapses in bed at night. He wears me out just watching him!

So what do little children and old Geezers like me have to do with leadership? It has to do with "neoteny". Neoteny from the Greek word, neos means "fresh, new or youthful." In Warren Bennis and Robert Thomas' book, "Geeks and Geezers" they said this about neoteny.

"Neoteny is the retention of all those wonderful qualities that we associate with youth; curiosity, playfulness, eagerness, fearlessness, warmth and energy. Neoteny is a metaphor for the quality-the gift-that keeps the fortunate of whatever age focused on all the marvelous undiscovered things to come."

So when it comes to leading others, let me be more like my grandson and neotenic.  I don't want to ever lose the vim, vigor and vitality in experiencing new things and challenging the status quo with  a superfluity of "why's?" I want to be the antithesis of a stereotyped old man who is unwilling to change or dream of "what could be". Let me be described as one who is always looking out the window with eyes of amazement like a child who can't wait to see what the possibilities of making dreams come true are.

May your leadership this year be characterized like a child who knows no limits! Leaders, like children, live in a world of limitless possibilities, full of curiosity, energy and confidence that the world is a place of wonder to be explored and grow in.

Maybe this is what the greatest leader who ever lived had in mind when he said "we must all become like a little child? Just wondering...

Have a great New Year!!

rb

While all other airlines have filed bankruptcy (except SWA), American Airlines tried to avoid following suit but to no avail. Mr. Arpey stood by his conviction because he believed filing bankruptcy was not only a financial decision but also a moral one. He couldn't be like other Wall Street executives or other CEO's who see filing bankruptcy as inherently moral. For this reason, he stepped down and left it all on the table, including any buyouts or financial gain.

As a leader, stand by your convictions. Be an example to others when it costs you, whether a position or job. For no matter what it may cost financially, the real cost for not standing up for what you believe in is an expense not worth paying for. Great men and women have stood by their convictions, and it not only cost them their jobs and positions, but their very lives. Stand strong!

Have a Merry Christmas.

rb

Enjoy this short video from people who live in the North.

Hallelujah Chorus - Quinhagak, Alaska

In 1827, the noted magazine editor and prolific writer Sarah Josepha Hale-author, among countless other things, of the nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb"-launched a campaign to establish Thanksgiving a national holiday. For 36 years she tried to bring governors, senators, presidents and politicians together to be unified for one day of celebration and Thankfulness. Finally in 1863, Abraham Lincoln heeded her request, at the height of one of the darkest hours in American history, in proclaiming and pleading with all Americans to ask God "to commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife" and to "heal the wounds of the nation." As a result he scheduled Thanksgiving for the final Thursday in November.

With our nation once again enduring division not unlike previous Thanksgivings, is it not time to ask God to "commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers, and to heal the wounds of the nation?"

Make this Thanksgiving a day of thankfulness for what we have and not for what we think we deserve.

rb

For those leaders who want to understand graciousness in victory, gratefulness and perspective bigger than one's self check out the short interview with Coach K after becoming the all time winningest college basketball coach.

1. Wisdom.
2. Character.
3. Integrity which includes values and principles.
4. Self Awareness
5. Decisions made or not made.

Each one of these characteristics is the result of a disciplined and prudent life; doing what is right and just and fair.

Leadership, like one's attitude, is not a result of random circumstances, but how you respond to them, and the decisions you make on a daily basis.

Not sure you can do without one of the above characteristics and be a leader. What do you think? Maybe you can think of others?

rb

Leaders are influencers, challengers, new and fresh approaches to the future, people who encourage both individual and corporate significance with purpose followed by passion.

Seth Godin (www.seth@yahoo.com) mentions these ideas: "Managers get their employees to do what they did yesterday, but a little faster and a little cheaper. Leaders, on the other hand, know where they'd like to go, but understand that they can't get there without their tribe, without giving those they lead the tools to make something happen. Managers want authority. Leaders take responsibility."

Finally, Jim Collins in his new book, "Great By Choice" suggests Fanatical Discipline (Be Disciplined), Empirical Creativity(Creatively solve major problems), and Productive Paranoia (Be prepared for what you can't predict)" are part of the ingredients for a leader (along with humility and determination or will).

All of these ideas are nothing more than ideas, words on a page. Can you be both a manager and a leader? Absolutely. Which one if more effective? Depends.  Where companies, businesses and organizations get in trouble is confusing them with the responsibilities the position(s) requires. The result could be "status quo" versus "moving forward". And the real test  of effectiveness for a manager or a leader is not in words on a page, but in the examples lived out every day!  

rb

Finally, "The Most Important First Pitch of World Series History," a 4-1/2 minute video.

We are passionate people. Passionate about something. Most of the time it has something to do with what interest us, what we view as important.

Bored people are people without passion. People with no passion generally haven't found their purpose or have lost their sense of purpose. And sometimes the passion people have as individuals and the company they work for are not the same. When this happens you have disengaged employees.

If what you do 5 days a week doesn't bring a sense of fulfillment, excitement, or satisfaction, check your passion barometer.

Engaged employees are likely individuals who believe what they are doing is making a difference. They believe what they do and what their company stands for are closely aligned in purpose.

Questions to consider about yourself and your company:

1. What difference are you making as an individual or in the products/services you offer in the lives of others?
2. What would those closest to you or the customers/clients lose if you ceased to exist?
3. If someone asked you your purpose as an individual and then your company's purpose,  how closely would they be aligned?

Be about the business of living a life or building a company whose purpose is making a difference in the lives of others. 

Otherwise either find another company who is more closely aligned in purpose, be bored, or just go back to bed.

rb

"He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how." (Friedrich Nietzsche)

A quick 1 minute video of the difference between going to work on Monday and going home on Friday. Enjoy!

Friday vs. Monday

Friends are good medicine. Death rates for people with no close relationships is 2-5 times higher than normal.

Speaking for myself, I like me better when I'm with friends than I do when I'm by myself. And I like myself even more when I give part of me to others.

"If I thought I was going crazy I would find someone less fortunate than me and go help them out." Karl Meninger

We remember people for the impact they have made on us. So make sure you leave a great looking mark.

Our lives are made special because of the moments shared with others. Here are two moments, one less than 2 minutes long, the other only 4 minutes. Both capture how special people are, just like you and me. The first is a 29 year old woman from Burleson, TX who hears her voice for the first time. The second is a 4 minute video from Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford several years ago. While thinking he had been cured of cancer he reflects on the "single best invention in life".

Make every opportunity today a "special moment" to touch someone's life. It could be a smile, a helping hand, a kind word, a note of encouragement, a touch, a phone call or just a simple "thanks, that meant alot."

Leave that positive, great looking mark that will last forever.

rb

• Time
• Friends, family, relationships
• Antiques
• Money
• Employment
• Creativity
• Freedom

Let me give you one more, servant leadership. I love this quote from C. William Pollard, chairman of ServiceMaster;

"The real leader is not the person with the most distinguished title, the highest pay, or the longest tenure. The real leader is the role model, the risk taker. The real leader is not the person with the largest car or the biggest home, but the servant; not the person who promotes himself or herself, but the promoter of others; not the administrator, but the initiator; not the taker but the giver; not the talker, but the listener. Servant leaders believe in the people they lead and are always ready to be surprised by their potential. Servant leaders, make themselves available. Servant leaders are committed-they are not simply holders of positions. They love and care about the people they lead. Everyone is a leader and everyone can be a servant."

Seen any real leaders lately?

I just had to share this video I saw on Monday morning from CBS News. It's about 3 minutes and it is about the relationship of a firefighter in NYC and his son (who was also a firefighter) on and following 9/11. I love his attitude and response about tears. It's a good'n.

rb

But hold on...Mr. Hardy had not given me credit for the quote. Bummer. Now I wished I had not only said it (more than a thousand times) but actually written it down or published it in writing (other than a plaque that sits on my desk).

More important by far is what we both agree on about success and significance. It's not in the degrees you get, the cars you drive, the money you make, the business you own or lead that bring ultimate success. Why? Because sometimes you might achieve all of these things and still not feel fulfilled. And the real reason for the emptiness most people have? It is the confusion between success and achievment and significance and fulfillment.

"Like success is to achievement, significance is to fulfillment".  Dr. Ron Beasley

Like an ancient document I read every day that discusses "life under the sun", success and achievement are mostly about getting. It is a path or journey to find significance, to really make something of yourself and eventually be fulfilled. Success and achievement "under the sun" is often about "me first". "What can I achieve for myself?"  That is depressing, random and unpredictable. Significance and fulfillment on the other hand are concerned about what can I contribute individually and collectively to others so they can be impacted and come to know signficance and ultimately fulfillment.

"Life will never make sense in achievement  for the temporary but fulfillment for those things that last".

Dr. Ron Beasley

So, there you go. Almost had my name in a big time blog/magazine (which by the way is no big deal to me for those who know me!!). It's the message that is most important! 

rb

When does one "grow up?" When does an individual actually become "mature"?

I'm not exactly sure what maturity is but I think I know what immaturity looks like when I see it.

Could it be maturity is to be fully developed, complete and "grown up"? But does anyone ever achieve "maturity"? Does one ever "arrive"in becoming mature anymore than one can become "perfect"?

For me maturity is a consistent movement forward while at the same time a process of leaving behind childish and adolescent attitudes and habits. It's becoming more and more responsible for the decisions you make, the motives you have, the behaviors you evoke.

When I see someone who I think is mature I think of stability and the ability to replace extremes with security and confidence.

So what are the marks of maturity?

• Understanding other's perspectives
• Patience with yourself and others
• Humility
• Self discipline
• Compassion and empathy
• Confidence
• Perspective
• Perseverance
• I know there are others you could add.

Hmmm, interesting. Looks like the characteristics for maturity look like those for being a leader.

Amazing isn't it?

rb

1. How is it the exercise instructor is not in shape and yet leads a class to get in shape? (Thank God my spin insructor-Bonki- is not anything near that).
2. How is it that Roger Clemens can be tried for lying and it's a felony; but when Congress lies to us, they call it a decision in our best interest, when it's really politics?
3. How is it that when I disagree with someone's point of view I become their adversary? It can be anything from getting a raise or promotion to having a different point of view on male/female issues, black/white, war/peace, God/aethist?
4. How is it a leader can say one thing, but at the same time not walk the walk? For example, get caught up in managing and not leading?
5. How is it in public schools we cannot pray, but teach creationism?
6. How is it we can burn the American flag and it is justified by the first amendment?
7. How is it parents criticize teachers unmercifully for giving honest feedback when teachers spend 8 hours a day with their child and the parents might spend 4?

I guess I'm not in touch anymore...

rb

On another note I want to say thanks to Karrie who has been my assistant for the last two years (she leaves to have their second child). At the same time welcome to Leslie who already is doing a remarkable job.

And finally check out the new book from my assistant several years ago, Cindy Beall.

Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken:  Finding Forgiveness and Restoration

• Just because the world (or another person) is crazy doesn't mean you have to be.
• What got you to where you are today (or the people you work with) won't likely get you to where you need to be tomorrow (intrepetation for companies and individuals is you have to be constantly improving and reshaping).
• If you do it right the first time, you don't have to 'lick the calf over again'. (Texas slang for do it right the first time and you won't have to do it again).
• Leaders look out the mirror to apportion credit and in the mirror to apportion responsibility. Jim Collins ("Take the log out of your own eye before you take the speck of dust out of someone else's". Jesus)
• As the parents lead and act, the kids will follow and react. If the parents are reacting, the kids will likely be in chaos. (As leaders in a company lead, followers react. If the leaders are reacting, the followers are in chaos).
• A person's passion follows their purpose which is dictated each day by their priorities.
• There are times when each one of us "don't know 'come here' from 'sic'em'", so just admit it.
• Accomplishment substituted for fulfillment is disillusionment. Fred Smith, Sr.

Enough for now. Share one of your favorites if you so desire.

rb

On another note I wanted to share with you a link to a website that Bob Timmins, Sr. VP and Construction Partner for Jefferson Apartment Group in DC sent to me. He said it spoke to him about defining what is most important when it's all said and done.